May 2011

1st
Amie just asked why do I only have one kid. I told her that's all I'm lucky enough to have just yet, but maybe I'll have more one day. She wants me to hurry up with that.

She asked me to take her photo, and then posed like this. The flower was her reward for being so brave while getting vaccinated.

2nd
Oh my god. Amie is trying to do the Single Ladies dance.

Cardboard boxes are great for drawing on. Here she's drawing the new set of cordless phones we bought. I believe the lines coming out of them are from people talking.

***

An Amie story:
Once upon a time there as a was a mummy, an Amie, a Dougie and a Shelle. And then the mummy tore Amie's marble set, and Amie cried. Then the playdough exploded in the cupboard and all the kids got stuck. "I didn't do it," said Dougie. "I didn't do it," said Shelle. "I didn't do it," said Jordy, who pooed on everyone. "That's disgusting!" said Amie. The end.

There may have been more poo and use of the word disgusting used (or "scusting", as she pronounces it), but you get the gist.

She's a strange, strange child.

She'll beg to help vacuum. I hope this trend continues.

3rd
Another Amie story:
Once upon a time there was a good mummy and Amie, and they went to the little shops to get a 'ward. "But I don't want one" said Amie. "But you're a big girl, 4 years old," said the mummy. "Oh yeah," said me and got a 'ward. And then mummy vomited over everything. "That's 'scusting," said Mario. And then the cat peed and pooed over everyone. "That's 'scusting," said Yoshi. And then they all disappeared and there were no more elephants until it was just Luigi. The end.


(the 'ward is a reward, because we've started up the rewards chart again. Though when she said it, it sounded like we were shopping for wood)

That's the first picture of us she's drawn where she included full bodies and faces :)

4th
It may be a side effect of being immunised today, but Amie has said (very sadly) that she misses Uncle Damien, and asked if Doug was looking at giraffes in Africa.

This is how tall her friend Estha is.

5th
It's almost 4am, do you know where your children are? Mine is in my bed (hers was too dark) - and farting up a storm. Middle of the night gigglefests are fun. She said her bottom sounded like her tongue when she does fart noises. She's quite observant.

***

I'm having a bad back day, but it's being made better by Amie telling me that butterflies make music with their wings and that they taste with their feet.

***

Amie: (watching the Kids Co. channel where an ad to win a PSP was playing) Oh! I want a PSP!
Me: Do you even know what a PSP is?
Amie: It's for playing games on. I want the second one.
Me: Well, maybe that's something Santa can bring you.
Amie: Oh, yeah! Santa can get them from the highest shelf.
Me: Why would they be on the highest shelf?
Amie: Because Santa can reach up there!

Can't argue with that logic.

***

Amie: I want my mummy!
Me: (sitting right next to her) What do you want her to do?
Amie: Fart on my head.
Me: o_O

She said she didn't need help getting out...until she got stuck.

6th
The best thing about cold mornings is using your cold hands to torture other people. Seeing as Amie is the only one around...she cops it all! That's payback for the icicles passing as feet that she inflicted on me the other night.

Leaves are VERY exciting. She always has to stop and collect them when we walk anywhere.

7th
Amie is preferring to wear socks on her hands instead of gloves (and it's been cold enough for them!). I'm not sure giving up dexterity is worth the fun of having sock puppets with you at all times.

***

Because I like to make Amie earn her keep, when getting her a snack just now I asked her to do a dance. What sort of dance do you think she chose?

The toilet dance. You know the one. The dance you do when you're busting to go but someone's taking forever. Yeah. My girl's got class :D

***

Making pancakes with Amie - she's cracking eggs, mixing and pouring batter out, people!

Cap'n Amie of the good ship Fartsalot!

8th
I just had to play doctor to a toy shark who hurt his tail. How did he hurt it? He fell off while riding his bike.

***

So...time out for toys? Apparently Mario and Luigi aren't getting along today, because Luigi keeps annoying Mario. Amie asked how to fix it, so I suggested the brothers play in different rooms for a while. "OH! Of course!" was her reply.

I didn't know I'd have to parent her toys, too.

 Superhero training camp. This week's lesson: Flying for beginners.

10th
Things I have said to a very cranky Amie as we wait for the bus to go home after day care:

-There's no crying in baseball
-Well if you're going to starve to death, do it quietly

Happy Mother's Day to me!

11th
While trying to get Amie to go back to sleep in her own bed in the middle of the night, I gave her Mario and Toad to cuddle with. She told me she would get me my own grown up cuddly toy to sleep with so I wouldn't be lonely in bed. Isn't she sweet?

***

OMG that kid cracks me up. She wanted to play wheelbarrows on the way to her room for a nap - she's the wheelbarrow, and I "push" her down the hall by holding her legs. I told her I would if she went to the toilet first. I asked if that was a deal, and she said "no, it's a bum deal!" I think she just said bum because she likes bums, but it was still pretty funny and accurate.

She loves to crack the eggs and is pretty good at it!

12th
Amie say we can't go shopping because it's cold outside. Does this mean I'll be stuck inside for the next three or four months??

Having her use the mixer is a BIG deal. She normally runs from the room, hands over her ears, as soon as I turn it on. She was very proud of herself.

13th
More proof my child is crazy. She just asked for frozen carrots for breakfast. IT'S 8ºC, PEOPLE.

***

Amie was just telling me how much she likes rainbows, complete with inadvertent Double Dream Hands. I think if she saw a double rainbow she'd burst into glittery shower of pure rapture.

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The best part of baking.

18th
Amie: (while dancing around on my bed) I just can't stand on my fanny* yet.
Me: o_O What do you mean?
Amie: When you have your legs like this (holds hands out flat next to each other) and your fanny is on the floor.
Me: OH you mean doing the splits. Yes, that takes a lot of practice.

*fanny=girly bits, not bottom.

***

o_O

Amie is painting. Giggling when she squirts the paint from the tube and it makes farty noises. She's also singing "boobies, boobies" over and over in a high pitched voice. I asked her why, and she said she loves boobies.

I asked her to smile but got this instead.

20th
Use #46 for a sleeping bag: reenacting the caterpillar->cocoon->butterfly. Made more awesome with accompanying commentary.

**

Amie LOVES to watch Doug play his xbox, particularly Fallout: New Vegas. Seems she's a little bloodthirsty, because she loves it when he kills the bad guys and gives him advice on what to do. After he shot a fire gecko she told him ‎"You blew his head off...you can eat that later."

Ever since playing it on the Wii, she's been asking to play tennis. At her cousin Morgan's birthday party they had access to one of the courts, which excited Amie to no end. She did a pretty good job of trying to serve! And this party was where I realised just how much she'd outgrown her winter clothes!

21st
Hmm. I just burped, and before I could say excuse me, Amie said "I love you too"...not sure what to think about that!

She wasn't too keen on being so high up.

23rd
Random Amie quote for the day: I don't love insects. I love my mum.

I accidentally put her pony tail too far to the side, so instead of trying to centre it I went with the 80s vibe it gave me and moved it further over. Here she's rocking some 80s model pose.

She also needed to show off her tights, and nails the pointy toes pose there too.

24th

Aww, my baby's growing up. She's now pretty good at using the mouse. My little computer geek in the making.

***

Ahh, so nice to know my daughter does pay attention to me. She just asked me to come play in my room with her...or she'll chop my head off. Guess I better get moving, because I like my head where it is!

***

I must be doing something right. For the last three nights Amie has been voluntarily clearing the table after dinner. Let's hope this trend continues!

She came running out of the bath to show me what happened to her eyebrows.

25th
Child is having a meltdown because I won't let her put the washing on all by herself. I'm so mean, aren't I?

Home made knight in shining armour kit - styrofoam helmet, plastic lid shield and umbrella swords.

26th
Amie: Why do I have a nipple on my foot?

I'm so tempted to leave this without any context.

It was a little blister on the arch of her foot from her shoe, but I can understand why she thought it was a nipple.
***

In other Amie news, she wanted to buy a Dalek today.

She likes to type.

27th
Me: I'm going to go have a shower now.
Amie: nope. it's too late.
Me: too late to have a shower? why?
Amie: because you're covered in peanut butter.

Seems like a good reason TO shower, if you ask me. FYI, I wasn't covered in peanut butter, but had just delivered unto her one sandwich of buttery peanut goodness.

Literally trying to climb the walls. I just do it figuratively.

***

Since we've now decided that I'm Ted and Amie's Bill (for our "no way, Ted/yes way, Bill" arguments), I'm gonna watch their most excellent adventure.

***

Before I could put Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey on, Amie had to know whether they said yes way and no way a lot in this one too. If they didn't, she wasn't interested. Good thing they did!

***

Did you know that if you give a child a block of styrofoam and a screwdriver*. it will soon look like it snowed in your lounge room?

*who needs fancy toys??

***

Amie: Can you take my photo for Facebook?
Me: You need to put a shirt on first, because I can see your boobies.
Amie: (crossing arms over her chest) Now you can't! Can I be on Facebook now?

Oh Lordy!

Getting all her balls lined up first.

Playing Bocce in the backyard.

28th
Amie: No, pants. NO. PANTS, that's not good. Stop it pants!
Me: What's wrong?
Amie: My pants aren't working properly.
Me: You're pants aren't alive, honey, they can't hear you. If you'd like some help, come here.
Amie: NO. My pants are making me cross.

I guess they started listening to her after that, because they then went on okay.

***

After having to dig around the chest freezer to find the vegies I wanted for dinner, I exerted my parental rights of torment and showed Amie just how cold my hands could be. Funny, though, when I asked her to come over, she carefully held her shirt down tight to hide her warm tummy...almost as if she was expecting it :P

She was meant to be napping. I found her like this.

30th
Just went droid hunting (for the C-3PO I crocheted), and found him hanging with (green) Vader in a castle. Other than the fact he WAS the droid I was looking for, I think Amie's trying to rewrite the Star Wars plot.

***

More things I tell Amie while waiting for the bus: Stop. Collaborate and listen.